The problem is I want to drink to celebrate, but the drinking drains the clarity, and thus, the very reason for celebration.
Today I woke up and went to get coffee. Afterward, I wandered. Limitless afterwards. I walked into the city to see a movie with Brian, realized that I’d never been in love before, very strange, and we walked in loops around the park, like lazy ribbons, talking and talking. We passed a teenager being arrested, a Mediterranean man careening through an intersection, aiming at his friend on the opposite corner (“Hey! Hey Jimmy!” he’s wailing. I didn’t even realize this type of thing existed anymore).
I ran into ____________ while in a magazine store, on my way home, late. He made fun of me for being recognizably messy, even at a distance, but the way he looked at me, with the twinkle, made me feel unselfconscious, and maybe affectionate. I walked home afterward, limitless afterwards, only giving up to hail a cab after crossing the Williamsburg bridge and realizing it was nearly 4. Before that I walked over the bridge and read, under a hallway of chemical-burn halogen lights dangling from metal rafters. I read and walked, even though it was late. I didn’t pass a soul along the way.
It was a five dollar cab ride, that’s it, but I tipped generously out of gratitude to finally be at rest. That was November the 25th.
Tomorrow, it begins again.
Let’s remember everything.
The Emperor said to me, ‘I” —
incomplete grandiosity. their lives were noble, epic, partly finished sketches, backlit and sanctified by suffering.
on that note.